Desperately Seeking Frank-N-Furter

The trouble with pearls is that it's hard to stop at one strand, or even two. Once you catch pearl fever, you begin to think that more is better, and quickly you are lured away from the classic Jackie Kennedy one-strand, and you find yourself, well, amuck in pearls.

As Queen Alexandra shows above, there may be such a thing as TOO MANY pearls. She did have an excuse for her 50 pound choker (she was rumored to be hiding a surgery scar). But personally I'm not convinced that stepping over the line of good taste is always a bad thing. Or is that my 80s influences speaking? For those who had "Lucky Star" on their Walkmans in high school, who can forget the seminal cinematic moment of Madonna drying her armpits in a public bathroom, with a string of pearls draped over her not-inconsiderable mammaries? 

For much of her early career, Madonna was awash in a nest of pearls that looked a bit like something Mr. T. would wear if he were walking down the aisle. Certainly it was a look that would've horrified Queen Alexandra, if not all mothers who fielded urgent requests for pearl crucifixes to complete our "Like a Virgin" look. But the classic is the classic because it withstands the test of time. And the pearl is no worse off today for a little artistic license. My first cinema idol, in fact, was never without his highly questionable pearls. 

Yes. Frank-N-Furter. Really. Years of therapy have failed to sort this one out. I still think he's hot. And let's face it, the pearls may have been key to his charms. If I could've dressed like Madonna AND been the Bride of Frank-N-Furter, my young head would've exploded from transcendental joy, if not outright zen enlightenment. And you can be sure I would've been swathed in pearls, from ratted hair to glittery platforms. It's not like you have to buy real pearls to have fun. So why not layer them on? Why not go a little Desperately Seeking Frank-N-Furter?